Posts from Myspace

10/20
So my son is growing at incredible rates. The fall is here the frost has come and leaves are falling. Christmas is right around the corner. November 5th I will be dragging out the tree and the ornaments and relieving the previous year in my head. How blessed we were to be where we are now. I love the holidays! His firsts we will never get these back and I am looking to make them the most MOST special!!!!More women around me are experiencing the joys of pregnancy and I am gonna have lots of baby shower invites soon! Yea! Toni and I are dieting hard core and are counting calories and eating healthier than ever. We had our first temptation in the way of girl scout cookies when the ones I ordered before this diet started were delivered by one of our neighbors yesterday. We left them in the box however and I felt really good about that. There is chocolate at work I have not touched either. I refused. I wanta start riding at some point so the weight needs to come off and the money situation get a little better. I owe it to myself for all this effort that I am putting into it. I would love to get back on Yankee if the old guy is still around and go cantering around the arena once again. *sigh* There is something so liberating about being on a horse and taking control of the reigns. Its almost like flying. I remember as a child riding my bike and pretending the handle bars were reigns and even calling the pink huffy (I didn't buy it LOL) Snoopy after the pony I had as a child and we went on adventure after adventure. Besides I want back into a 36 jeans. I was very sad to leave my bird his little ears were prolly ringing like nuts cause I spent a lot of time talking about him at work. He's so precious! It was nice to get back to see my friends there though. I did miss the interaction with the girls. Bird recognizes my voice now. I was in the kitchen fiddling around and he was sleeping in his swing when I went in. He heard me while I was in there and was looking in the direction for me so when I came around the counter there he was wide eyed smiling cause his Mama was there. SO cute. He hit a new milestone of play where he grabs for things now and holds them. He has 2 stuff toys I bought him for his fav shows (Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and Adventures of Tigger and Pooh) Pooh and Mickey and this is a pic of him holding onto his Mickey in his swing. You just dont know love until you have children. Its so pure and maternal!

10/23

So today is Toni's first official day as an employed truck driver. I am so proud of her. Luca and I are hanging out at the house watching Handy Manny which he has recently come to appreciate LOL. She will be off every Fri and Sat and I feel A LOT better then I did before because this is a scenario I was prepared for. I think she will like it though I know it hurts her to have to leave our little man. I have the camera sitting out to take lots of pics of him to send to her phone.


I am in a great mood this morning. The holidays are coming things are in perspective I am getting things done and on Nov 3rd I am dragging out our Christmas tree. (It's what I do don't try and convince me otherwise LOL it wont work) The weather has been cool enough for hot cocoa and coffee and I have my body back and a healthy son as well. WHAT COULD BE BETTER!!! I have to say it was nice to be able to move at work and have energy to do it. I was even given a commendation for helping out day shift from someone who isn't likely to give them out. Yesterday I put Luca in his walker (which I had to surround in blankets cause he isnt holding himself up yet LOL) and pushed him around the house making car sounds we had a good time. He is grabbing and reaching for things and talking up a storm! When he cries he says Maaa Maaaaaaa! LOL which is to cute. We know it isnt intentional though.

Aside from work we have a busy weekend coming up. Toni's mom's bday dinner this Saturday so that should be a lot of fun. I just have to convince myself to leave the black tie moouse (sp?) alone. *sigh* D Dieting is gonna be hard over the holidays. I am hoping my goal will keep me focused. I am eating a lot of fish (tuna, halibut, tilapia, mahi, salmon and even sardines lol) alot of veggies (currently I am totally digging steamed squash) and lots of apples, lopes and strawberries. I treat myself to the protein in peanut butter once a day. I have been staying away from bread and flour and eating a lot of salads as well. Its paying off I lost 5 lbs in less than a week so I have to be doing something right. Anyway... time to change the bird and get some stuff done. (school work *sigh*!)

10/28
So I am on my own this week. Toni is on the road getting through her training which should be completed by the 2nd week in Dec. Bird and I are gonna make the most of our time together and we have a lot of playing and snuggling on the schedule for the week. He sits not far from me now slowly falling asleep in his swing. He has hit the good nap milestone where he is sleeping a couple hours at a time in the middle of the afternoon. His weight stays at 16.8 and I dont think he has grown any longer since our appointment 2 weeks ago. He is in stage 2 diapers now and some 6-9 month clothes (anything with feeties). I am proud of how he has turned out. He had a good time at his Grandparents house last night and mentioned that they are enjoying his new little personality as opposed to the newborn sleep eat sleep eat. Speaking of eating he is eating 4 ozs every 2 hours or 5 ozs every 3 hours. Its a little lonely around here but I have to keep telling myself the situation is only temporary. Last thing to report is after this coming spring semester I will have a bachelors degree. I got the news today and I am excited. Thats all for now... enjoy the video of the little bird and thanks for taking the time to read. :-)


Ps I will post pics of the bird on Friday night in his official halloweenie costume.

11/4

So with a half an hour of sleep and a million things to do I have turned our little house into Christmas for the bird. I got to relive past Christmases through our ornaments and got to watch the bird's smiling face as I dangled each one in front of him for him to see. Yes I am a little nuts but I love the holidays and the longer I can enjoy the lights the happier it makes me. :-) For those who dont believe feast your eyes...ps. he bird is dreaming hard core in this video notice the funny faces.

I have so many reasons for voting the way I did and it isn't just because I am a democrat. I have never in my life gave 2 shits about the politics but now that I have a little bird in my life and I have gotten older I am seeing how important it is. I don't like McCain. I truly hope he doesn't get the election simply because it will be like having Bush another 4 years while the earth and the people go straight to shit. I could give a rats ass about Obama's father's religion, I certainly don't care that he is a half African American man (like some people in my town do) as I have a sister who is half as well as a niece and future niece or nephew on the way. Even though he doesnt support gay marriage he still supports civil union which we all know that gay rights was the first issue Bush crushed in his second turn. I want the rights to my partner. I want her to have rights concerning me. I am tired of the fucking war and all the money and death it has brought. I dont give a shit if Obama middle name is Hussein I dont care that he doesn't have experience all I care about is the future for my son and the life we have built, healtcare and the economy. McCain can't seperate church and state, he can't answer the questions the way he should, he want to help out people who already have tons of money, his vice president running mate is killing wild life, making women look horrible with her stupidity and wants you to pay for your own rape kit. We dont need another republican what we need is diversity and truth and I believe thats what we got with Obama. Cheers folks lets see what happens!!!!

11/7
So my week of excitement is over. My sister got to the Doctor, my son hit some new milestones and is very close to laughing, I made Christmas throw up in our house and it's clean thanks to my Ocd's. LOL I started my yoga (the whole video I wasn't able to get through it before do to the uncomfortability in my incision area) this week as a stress reliever and a little me time while Luca takes his evening snooze. He turned 12 weeks on Wends but wont echnically turn 3 months until the 13th of Nov. We have a lot to accomplsih this weekend groceries, Bj's (I need bottled water "fruit 20) and I need to get some more candles to smell up my place like pumpkin pie or something seasonal. I hate leaving my bird on the weekends. I kiss him a hundred times on Monday morning cause I am so glad its over. It wouldn't be so bad if I didnt need to sleep but I do. I go in Friday night and sleep Sat cause Toni watches him. Go in Sat and sleep Sun cause Fe is here. Then Monday morning I get about an hour nap after I bring him home from his Grandparents and am up until we go to bed at 9. Working the three days helps with bills. Gives me a little spending money when Toni starts raking in the big bucks and means that I get to socialize with adults to which I like the company of. Anyhow...time to get a paper done for school though I don't feel like it. LOL

11/9
Toni left us for another 5 days on the road. On the upside we are another week closer to the end of her training so I am dealing well. We have been making the most of our 2 days and its been nice. Luca sleeps in his co-sleeper in the crib now so we were actually able to get close under the covers and it was nice. He got his first taste of apple juice the other day. The pediatrician told me it was the thing to give him when he was constipated and needless to say he had NO trouble woofing it down. All the fruit I ate while pregnant he was in heaven. My poor bird his belly was bothering him and it was hard to pass the poop which came out this morning in a messy disaster lol. I say thankgod for Johnny Appleseed. We heard to beginning of a laugh yesterday. I was attacking his belly like I always do and started to chuckle then stopped looking startled cause I dont think he realized he could make that sound. It was a pure dee belly laugh! I love it! Ho Ho has started shopping for him this Christmas. He told me he bought luca a stuffed big bird and a talking book and he's going to buy him the Fischer Price Tippin Tiger ball toss for when he starts sitting up and having some tummy time. We are excited. I am gonna start his Disney Collection as well this Christmas. Mom called yesterday and said she wants to do some things together. I was impressed when she went on to further tell me that she wants to buy Luca some Christmas clothes and she wants my opinion on them so could we go shopping together. I am proud of her. I know she loves the shit out of Jada being her first Granddaughter and she has been doin well with Luca her first Grandson. She is making an effort and what really threw me for a loop is that she asked when Amara's ultrasound was. Which before she said she didn't want anything to do with her new baby cause she says she told her NOT to get pregnant. Well we all told her that and hell what can you do. The boyfriend made sure the house was clean when mom went over the other day to take her to the store. Which I was glad to hear. So anyways... not to much else to report. My birdie is napping so I am headed back to the couch to nap to. Have a great Sunday folks.

Ps. there will be a video almost every blog and a lot of new pics beings I take them for Toni since she doesnt get to see everything.

11/12

So today my bird is a little needy. He is wanting to snuggle snuggle snuggle and not entertain himself. It is too cute. Thursday he turns 3 months old officially and I am both sad and happy all at the same time. Its exciting to see him hit new milestones but then there is the realization that he will one say be bigger then me. The girls I work with were laughing at me cause the day he towers over my almost 6 foot is the day I buy a stool to gain the upper hand. LOL I have some things to fax to the lawyer for the second parent adoption and Toni and Luca have to go to the Doc's for a wellness check just to make sure they are both well the date the letter is written. :-) Thats all for now I know it wont be long before he comes out of the swing. He already looks pouty. Here is some video as promised.

11/13

Well my little bird has hit the quarter mark in this first year! How exciting! He is changing so much everyday! We have been so busy this week. After today I wont need to see Amara for a month and the surprise as to what she is having will be over. I will post that via this blog for anyone curious when we get back. On today's agenda we have to run to my job pick up my paycheck, go to the bank, pick up Amara, give Mom her pics of the baby, take Amara for the ultrasound, take her home and then come home and clean and get some school work done. :-) Its gonna be a big day. Officially this weekend the bird will be in 6-9 month clothes as his 3-6 don't fit anymore. Either his legs are to long or the shirt are to short and his belly sticks out. In other news whoever decided to make the wiggles must have been of the same annoying mind as he who created Barney! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! Here's another video of yesterdays cookie making process. Have a good weekend folks!

11/18

So the other night my sister Felicia texted me a picture of her new Christmas Tree. I am now not the only one within 50 miles to decorate there tree more than a month before Christmas. Your tree is beautiful Fe! I have gotten teased about it but here are some of my reasons for doing it. My favorite part of Christmas every single year was putting up the Christmas tree. I can remember as a kid playing Christmas music in my room with colored paper and crayons making my own Christmas decoration long before Christmas ever came around. There is something so serene about sittin in your livingroom with the lights off with a cup of cocoa looking at this icon of Christmas with its colored lights and ornament memories which is now even more complete with the birth of our son. It brings your back to your youth, it gives you time to meditate and reflect, it makes worry less and be thankful more and most of all it makes you smile the hundreds of times people complment you on its looks. I have left a few balled places on it this year for Luca's ornaments that we will get for the week after thanksgiving. Something is so complete about Christmas when you have a kid. I now have someone to be equally as excited about it is I am and so stay tuned to my page to see Luca's first experiences with Santa cause when the jolly fat man hits the mall he will be sittin on his lap. Have a great week folks...

11/19

So I am in a sentimental sappy kinda mood. This time last year I was on crazy clomid hoping to conceive my son to which I succeeded. Today I am thankful for how well it all came together. While on the path to pregnancy I sort of made a pact with God to which I am thinking a lot about today. Everyone who knows me knows I am a religion buff. Religion in general interests me. Figuring out what people believe and why they believe its floats my boat. I don't condend anyone for their beliefs at all. Its one of those things that make us SO individual. Generally when I find out what a particular thing concerning a persons religious belief I ask a lot of questions. I have NEVER in my life thought "that's stupid" or "why?". That just doesn't matter to me. I myself subscribe to several different things though I am a baptised and confirmed Catholic. I choose Catholicism to be baptized before my cancer surgery because of them all (to which I did research intensively from and even went as far to peruse the book of Mormon and talk to a Rabbi) its the one I believed the most. It made the most sense to me I like the stories (of the saints) the miracles and the ritualism of it all. I however don't believe the Pope is anymore than a mascot and I don't believe a priest can absolve you of your sins. I don't see him as a mediator between you and God. I think that relationship is personal. Because of religion however Gays cant go to most churches because they become the topic of conversation, and its because of religion most of us have no rights. The hole Prop 8 thing SUCKS! If this country would just learn to separate church and state and look at religion like I do we wouldn't be in this situation. That's like going around telling a bunch of people "In God we trust" well what if God isn't in their belief system. That statement doesn't apply to them...Anyhow I am off my soap box for now.

I was looking up Christmas traditions in different countries and I found this for the Germans which I found interesting. One of my things is to be fluent in German since I am proud of my own ancestry. It is also the reason behind Luca's middle name spelling. Nicholaus. Anyhow... here is what I found.

11/24

So I have broken 2 toes. Folks the main big difference between Toni and I is that my idea of clean and clutter free is not the same as hers. Last night in the dark of our living room I walked straight into her overnight bag with wheel and seriously fucked up my 3rd and 4th toe.*sigh* This shit always seems to happen to me. Thanksgiving is days away and I am redy for turkey with all the fixins. Toni is days away from completeing her mentor program and will be getting her truck soons which means more money which in turn means I will be able to go PRN at work and spend days and nights with my little one. I never thought myself the type but lemme tell you I am crazy about my child! He is the light of my life and I just could NOT be happier. A nurse I work with said I look like I have fallen in love and I think thats a pretty good way to describe me lately. Luca continues to get bigger. As of friday he was 18.11 lbs and 28 inches long. I had to pull out our bigger car seat case I simply could not loosen the straps in the other one any more to accomidate him which you can see in the default he looks as though he is shoved in the thing. LOL The new car seat is more spacious and loose though I think we will need a 3 in 1 by the first of the year. Its hard to believe on the 13th he will be 4 months old. What a good boy. He has the sniffles the pure boy so the Doc gave me an antbiotic and decon to help him get over it. Today I anxiously await the donors consent to give up his rights via the fed x man this morning and will be stopping by the lawyers office to drop off the paperwork for second parent adoption. YEAH! Anyhow... Have a great week. I am gonna take some tylenol and watch some tv.

12/2

Couple of things going on. I have had it with taking it up the ass at my job and will be going for another interview on Wends to work 16 hours elsewhere. I will be staying on at my job PRN after I get hired. Luca is eating solids. He actually makes this constant MMMmmm Mmmmm mmm noise whenever he wants to eat or sees me eating. Its hilarious. Were on Applsauce for a while and will be offically starting peaches on Sat. School is almost over and I couldnt be MORE happy about that one month break. Toni is almost done with her training and will be getting her own truck the week of the 11th. Luca and I are headed out to the grocery store today to get some stuff for lunches and dinner here at the house for me during the week. So thats it for now. I need to get a head on some of this school work so I can take a couple days and NOT do anything. LOL

12/7

Looking outside today after shitting and puking my brains out I feel much better. I visited the toilet a couple times yesterday during the trip to sears to which I realized something. Folks those of you who have your kids 2 years apart or have children in diapers and can leave the house with them I applaud you. While my sickness which was most likely food poisoning reared its ugly head, while it snowed when they weren't even calling for it and while we had an appointment with the people of Sears I picked up my 2 year old niece and had my son and off we went to have pics taken. My sister doesn't know how to discipline her child so I suffered for it yesterday. Luca was sort of OK through everything the pics he smiled in had either my hand accidentally or the woman's hair in them so we got a good pic of him looking at the camera but not really smiling. He looked like Santa's little helper in his Santa suit. Jada was cute in her little Ms. Claus outfit but wouldn't wear the hat. So together they look like Mr. and Mrs. Claus. LOL The pic of them by themselves turned out real well but it was a HELL of a fiasco. Jada kept running out of the room and Luca was smiling when she was pouting it was a mess. We brought 2 diaper bags our coats and Luca's change of clothes so he didnt druel on the Santie suit. *Sigh* It was a mess. Pics will be posted the 18th when we pick them up.

Toni and I have given it a lot of thought and we are gonna say "no" to more kids. We want to show Luca the world and give him everything in life and financially its harder with more then one. I asked her if she would regret not passing on her genes and she said NO. LOL Adamantly. So you read it here folks. We also discussed the plans for 2 years. We are moving someplace where that allows civil union's for a year then its off to the mountains somewhere to raise our son in private and without bullshit. We have it planned out. Everyone pray MD passes it so in 2 years we can just move to our new house and not have a detour.

Since we can afford it I am gonna stay home with my bird working PRN at 2 different places to help until he's three. I then will go back into the working world while he is in pre-school to use my degree either working with developmentally disabled folks or with children with autism or physical disabilities. I haven't decided yet. I am gonna go kiss my girl goodbye in her last week of training and then bath my baby. Enjoy the rest of your weekend folks and the snow.

12/22

Dear Luca, 12/22/08
I took the time while I was pregnant to write you a little letter as you grew within my womb and now I feel the need to write another while you are here our world.
As I lay in bed with your Mommy tonight I thought of so many wonderful things. When I saw you the first time I felt as though I was seeing someone so familiar to me. I was seeing you. The essence of you. Your future. My love. My creation and my soul. I watched your tiny face as you saw this world for the first time and I couldn't help but to be in awe. How many firsts you will have and how your future will pan out. There is nothing in this world I wouldn't do for you and there is no love greater then that which we share. I still see your broad chest, your little skinny legs and your tiny squinty eyes looking at me when I held your the first time. The bond was incredible! Now your here growing teeth, rolling over, clinging to me each time I put a pacifier to your mouth and yelling Mamaaaaaaa when you want comfort. My little angel. Tonight your Mommy and I talked about how different our lives were, of our plans for the future and of the "marvel" you truly are. Tonight I knew I needed to get out of bed and come down here and blog these words as a memory for you of this night which isn't that special since its everynight that your complete and amaze me.

I love you son!
12/23

So my little bird is giving the Grandparents a hard way to go. LOL I was told today that he cries much of the time I am gone from him won't eat and can'tbe comforted. What does that say? I have a strong connection with my baby. We spend 99% of our time together (last night I even put him in the bed when he couldn't get comfortable). He wants what he wants and at 4 months old is VERY capable of letting EVERYONE know or make their life a living hell in the process. Sooner or later he will grow out of it but as our pediatrician told me in the beginning at this age there is no such thing as spoiling your baby.

Mama is in the process of making his mash potatoes ahead of time for Christmas Eve dinner. He has been eating so well. I don't know whether or not I am to blame though for his lack of enthusiasm in the veggie dept. I ate a lot of potato products and fruit when I was pregnant. Its the only thing that tasted right to me.

Toni will be home some time tommorow but were not sure what time. We celebrate Christmas Eve at her parents house. This year were having prime rib. YUM! I am cooking a VERY large Ham dinner for my family Christmas Day which will consist of real cheesy mashed potatoes and green bean casserole which I can never get enough of on the holidays. I have a recipe for an awesome ham glaze I wanta try.
Happy Holidays to your all! And see you in the New Year!
12/27

So today before going to sit with the elderly I decided that I would take it easy. The bird and I have spent a lot of time snuggling and I have spent a lot of time on my ass reading a Jenny McCarthy book I got for Christmas called "baby laughs". I read her "Belly laughs" while I was preggo and for a first time Mom it was a little scarey but HILARIOUS!

I have managed to put the clothes away and organize the desk a little. I am also working on this digital frame Fe gave me and waiting forever as it finds the 50 millions pics I have stored in this pc. :-)

Luca is taking his nap. Its nice now I can tell when he is tired since he rubs his eyes and pouts. He is currently asleep on his little bed snoozing away. Below is a VERY cute video I took of him eating last night. He was starting to get sleepy (another sign is the rubbing of the back of his head with whatever it happens to be on) and I was trying to get the rest of his dinner into him. He does eat well. This video however speaks miles in his thoughts of sweet potatoes but he did finish 3/4 of a jar. Right now he is consuming 6 formula sized scoops of cereal per day, 2 1/2 jars of some kind of fruit and 1/2 to 3/4 a jar of veggies. I am gonna try prunes next to see if he likes them as well as adding that turkey stage 1 to his diet that he had on Christmas Eve.

Enjoy! It might take a little while to process by youtube so come back now ya here! LOL

12/31

So the last couple days have worn me out completely. On the upside I got my phone back, Christmas was great, I finally finished 2 whole books without having to listen to them in my car, my house is clean (for the most part) and my sister's baby now 28 weeks gestation is perfectly healthy. These are all good positive things. The best of all is the fact that the judge will see us some day after 1/1 to decide on whether or not Toni should become Luca's legal "other parent". Keep your fingers crossed and say a prayer for us folks. We have struggled a lot lately with Toni taking on a new career, the low funds and the stress that comes with life. Luca came and brought with him so much hope and light into our lives and we deserve this. We created him in the utmost love! And if we hadn't need the sperm we wouldn't be asking a courts permission. The court welcomes people to come to this hearing. In fact the more the merrier. So if you can come please do. The more people the judge sees the more he is liable to say YES! I will post the day before. They don't give you anymore notice then that. The judge says when he can do it and that's it. One other one in Carroll County passed for a same sex couple and we are hoping to be number two. Thats it for now... keep an eye out for the post I got feed a birdie and get his bath done. Have a good night folks!

1/7

So I am up in our bedroom snuggling the bird when I decided to call the direct TV people to finally get the satellite working up there since its been out of whack for the last month or so. I go through the automated thing and it doesn't fix my problem so I get a customer service guy. I tell her my issue and he tells goes into my account in the meantime Luca is laughing and cooing away at me as I am making faces at him. The guy says to me the following like this.

Him- "You have a baby"

Me-"Yep a 5 month old, we were hoping to snuggle and watch the tube a while"

Him- "My baby is 4 years old"

Me- "Awww, you gonna have any more"

Him- "If it's a boy I am stopping there"

At that point I think typical male but let it go. He goes on to tell me that his daughter is a daddy's girl and he is very proud of her ability to box amongst other things. I am polite as I always am and leave it at that. Then the conversation goes here.

Him- "Is his Father around"

Me- "We used a sperm donor" (the we should have tipped him off)

Him- "Couldn't find the right guy?"

Me- "No, my partner wasn't producing the right fluid."

Silence...

Him-"Oh..."

So to ease the tension I wish him luck on his baby boy making process.

The whole thing was a little longer then this but you get the drift I just thought I would share.The tv is fixed. I am off to cook some salmon for dinner and get out some sweet taters and nanners for the bird. Have a good week folks.

So my little bird is growing up. I decided to write this blog today because I was astonished at a couple different things. 1 he is quickly approaching the 23 lb mark 2 his legs hang out of the longer infant car seat I had for him when they didn't weren't quite there a week ago and 3 I stare all day long at his hospital pic hanging in my living room and I can't believe how different he looks. *sigh* They grow up so fast. This time last year I was 8 or 9 weeks pregnant trying to hold my cookies on a rocking boat headed for the Caribbean able to eat nothing more then frozen yogurt and fruit cups. LMAO

1/8

Last night I tried getting him to sleep on his own but he wasn't having it. He was so tired. Finally at 9 pm (normally he goes to bed at 7:30) I put him in bed beside me and he was breathing softly in my boobs 5 minutes later. I have had a couple people tell me that only children are spoiled and that might be the case but one child or several are always gonna feel as though you favor another more no matter what you do to prevent it. Those of us who have siblings no this for a fact. Life is a competition in the household. I actually had a woman lecture me when I told her Luca would be my only one at the Jiffy Lube. What is wrong with people these days? I am happy with my son. I feel complete with him in my life. I think the number of children you decide to have is an individual choice. This isn't china is your want 10 kids I say go for it. I want 1. I have him and I have never been happier. Anyway...its my uterus I'll designate who lives in it. :-)


1/22

The invisible cord...
Here is what I have come up with over the last couple of months and what I know to be true as a Mother. Just because a Doctor severs an umbilical cord after a baby is born does not mean anything. I have told Toni, Luca has an invisible cord connecting him to me. I wake up every night just before he does. Tonight I woke up before he started rustling around in his sleep to watch him. (I do that sometimes) He sleeps so peaceful like a little boy all tucked in his bed beside ours snoozing away. My Grandmother used to open my bedroom door ever night between 2:15 and 2:30am on her way to the bathroom to check on me. So yes I am up at 3 am in the morning reflecting on how much I love him and how blessed I am that he is ours.


1/26

So for whatever reason I get around to blogging when I do the morning feeding for the bird. I don't know why but after 2 am I start to feel both sentimental and inspirational all at the same time. The week ahead is full of so many changes. And I felt the need to talk about some of them here. Plus for those of you who aren't on facebook you wouldn't have seen the latest Luca video. :-) So tomorrow starts the week, I have my final interview/meeting to determine whether or not I will be making the move to this new job and back to an old way of life that will yet again become a large part of my own. Toni isn't happy being away from us. I don't blame her. In order for us to be together we all have to make sacrifices and I have to give up the idea of spending the first year of my son's life at home with him. It's really painful. I used to tell everyone all the time that I was never alone (while I was pregnant) cause here I was carrying around my little miracle and now I will be giving up a big portion of my life to something that doesn't even compare to him in any way shape or form. I realize however though that I can't be selfish. I wasn't raised that way and I still will have a great deal of time off with my little bird. Until May things will be hectic. I will be struggling to finish my degree ( I AM SOOOOOO READY to be done with school) and Toni will be looking for employment around here. Luca will have us and won't be seeing the inside of a daycare center which was my stipulation. (I WON'T have it any other way. Period.) Friday is our Second Parent Adoption hearing. I am holding out for the judge who allowed the last one so keep your fingers crossed for us folks. I am ready for that chapter to close as well and for things to be as they were intended to be. School is moving along nicely. I really like the Native American History (upper level)class. I had to watch Apocalypto (great movie but the beginning will piss you off) for it which was good but the teacher has been piling on the work like crazy!

Luca update:

He is twisting and turning, still support sitting (though he can hold himself up for long periods), doing 360's all over the place, sleeping in his crib at night (only getting up once), eating stage 2 foods like Chicken and rice dinner (which he LOVED!), still weighing in at 23 lbs, still wearing 12-18 month clothes, still 31" long, working hard on those upper teeth (that I thought had cut but didn't), propeling himself backward in the walker, hopping around like a silly boy in the jumparoo (set to stage 3 now cause he is so long) and has found a new love of sing-a-long DVD's like Sesame Streets "Monster Hits" (I dont know what it is with him and monsters) and the "Lion King Sing-a-Long" Thanks God for the library! lol

Latest books read: The perfect spot
20 hungry piggies

1/30

The second parent adoption is done. WE WON! Thats right folks. The judge we got recently passed it for a couple who was adopting a child they were fostering (a gay couple). Before he refused to even hear the cases so he has come a long way. Zoa, Felicia, Cheryl, Toni, Luca and I went into the courtroom to stand before him in hopes all would go well. The judge came in after making us wait. Toni sweated and worried the entire time. I had the power of positive thinking backing me and put on the charm for the judge who smiled at me a couple times during the hearing as I stated why I thought Toni should be allowed to adopt him. I put it simply. We created him together. He was a planend pregnancy to the enth degree. They bonded. They share a relationship that is equal to that of any Mother and child and he has heard his voice since his ears started developing in the womb. He loves her. Why shouldn't she have the right to be his parent as well? We created him in love together. As I told the cable guy the difference was she didn't produce the right fluid. ( I didn't say that part to the judge). My testimony and Toni's led the judge to believe she was a "moral and just" person and he sign the paper allowing her to become his second parent. So we are a family! Everyone who came cried. YEAH!!!!! See pics in the "Our son" album.