Dear Luca, Friday, May 16, 2008
Finally you are here. The time during which you were inside my womb has passed by so quickly. I have been thinking about writing this letter just for you since I found out I was pregnant, When I made the decision to carry you I worried about so many things. I worried about your life inside the womb knowing I had fertility issues and a history of cancer, as well as your life outside the womb with the way the world is. I studied everything anyone could ever need to know to make sure I did everything right before you were even conceived. I came from a broken home (Your Mom-Mom and Your Pappaw) and was raised by two people who couldn’t have been more in love (Your Great Mom-Mom and Great Pop Pop). I never wanted to put a child through a situation where two parents weren’t there. When I met your other Mommy I knew I found love in a pure form and can only hope that one day you will find the same love. I knew when I decided to get pregnant that it would all work out because there will never have been a child more wanted than you are.
When I wasn’t sure I was pregnant, I remember lying in bed singing to you as you implanted and started to grow. I spent time praying to God to give me a child, to keep you safe and to keep me healthy so you would be okay. The song I had chosen to sing to you was “Jolly Old Saint Nicholas.” It was after Thanksgiving and before Christmas and I have always been one to love the holidays, especially Christmas. To me it was about the birth of Christ, Christmas trees, decorations and times when families spent happy memorable times gathered around a table smiling and laughing. Your middle name was chosen because you were the best Christmas present I have ever received and because of that song that just stuck in my head and to which I still sing to you now.
When I first saw your tiny beating heart on that ultrasound machine I had the most sensational relief. I knew in my heart that everything would be okay. You started to grow and we grew with you. We came to prepare for parenthood and came to understand what unconditional love really is. You truly are the “bringer of light” that your first name implies and I have no doubts that its reputation will continue to follow you throughout your own life. My wishes for you are ones of love (to be happy in your heart), imagination (to look beyond the world we live in and imagine your own), strength (to walk away from situations that hurt you and to know when to offer your heart to someone in need), respect (for the earth and everything in it), creativity (in any way you choose) and dreams (follow them wherever they lead). Most of all I want you to know that I love you more than life itself and I will always be with you wherever you are and no matter where I am. I am here.
Lots of Hugs and Kisses, Your Mama
Finally you are here. The time during which you were inside my womb has passed by so quickly. I have been thinking about writing this letter just for you since I found out I was pregnant, When I made the decision to carry you I worried about so many things. I worried about your life inside the womb knowing I had fertility issues and a history of cancer, as well as your life outside the womb with the way the world is. I studied everything anyone could ever need to know to make sure I did everything right before you were even conceived. I came from a broken home (Your Mom-Mom and Your Pappaw) and was raised by two people who couldn’t have been more in love (Your Great Mom-Mom and Great Pop Pop). I never wanted to put a child through a situation where two parents weren’t there. When I met your other Mommy I knew I found love in a pure form and can only hope that one day you will find the same love. I knew when I decided to get pregnant that it would all work out because there will never have been a child more wanted than you are.
When I wasn’t sure I was pregnant, I remember lying in bed singing to you as you implanted and started to grow. I spent time praying to God to give me a child, to keep you safe and to keep me healthy so you would be okay. The song I had chosen to sing to you was “Jolly Old Saint Nicholas.” It was after Thanksgiving and before Christmas and I have always been one to love the holidays, especially Christmas. To me it was about the birth of Christ, Christmas trees, decorations and times when families spent happy memorable times gathered around a table smiling and laughing. Your middle name was chosen because you were the best Christmas present I have ever received and because of that song that just stuck in my head and to which I still sing to you now.
When I first saw your tiny beating heart on that ultrasound machine I had the most sensational relief. I knew in my heart that everything would be okay. You started to grow and we grew with you. We came to prepare for parenthood and came to understand what unconditional love really is. You truly are the “bringer of light” that your first name implies and I have no doubts that its reputation will continue to follow you throughout your own life. My wishes for you are ones of love (to be happy in your heart), imagination (to look beyond the world we live in and imagine your own), strength (to walk away from situations that hurt you and to know when to offer your heart to someone in need), respect (for the earth and everything in it), creativity (in any way you choose) and dreams (follow them wherever they lead). Most of all I want you to know that I love you more than life itself and I will always be with you wherever you are and no matter where I am. I am here.
Lots of Hugs and Kisses, Your Mama
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